幽默英语名言
1、骗子太多，傻子明显不够用了。
Cheater too much, a fool obviously not enough.
2、哥吸烟，是因为它伤肺，不伤心。
Elder brother smoke, because it hurt lung, not sad.
3、我们的爱情在这天夭折了，只为了让彼此有重生的机会。
Our love died on this day, in order to let each other have a rebirth of opportunities.
4、不能自拔的，除了爱情，还有别人地里的萝卜。
Cannot extricate oneself, in addition to love, there are others in the fields of radish.
5、你要是鲜花，以后牛都不敢拉屎了。
If you flowers, cattle after all dare not move bowels.
6、每个意念都是一场祈祷。
Every thought is a prayer.
7、有些人死了很有价值，有些人死了他的画很有价值！
Some people died is very valuable, some people died his painting is very valuable!
8、当裤子失去皮带，才懂得什麽叫做依赖。
When the pants belt lost, just know what is called a dependency.
9、抽，是一种生活艺术；找抽，是一种生活态度。
Smoking, it is a kind of living art; Looking for smoke, is a kind of attitude to life.
10、最可笑的爱情就是你爱她，还和我在一起。[ ]
The most ridiculous love that you love her, but also with me.
11、对女人不好的男人，下辈子都投胎做卫生巾去！
Bad man, to a woman next life reborn do sanitary napkin!
12、平时骂你就算了，非要等我打你，才知道我文武双全。
Scold you calculate at ordinary times, have to wait for me beat you, didn't know I both brawn.
13、不是你想不想，而是你敢不敢。
Dare not do you want to, but you.
14、我以为我很颓废，今天我才知道，原来我早报废了。
I thought I was decadent, today I just know, originally I had scrapped.
15、成功在暗处看着我们，因为我们为成功而奋斗。
Success in the dark looking at us, because we struggle for success.
16、我建议大家对我的长相，理解为主，欣赏为辅。
I recommend to my looks, understanding, appreciation is complementary.
17、猫儿，你别太猖狂，有一天，鱼儿可能会把你摁到水里！
Cat, you don't be too stubborn, one day, the fish may put you press into the water!
18、我的优点是我很帅；但是我的缺点是我帅的不明显。
My advantage is that I am handsome; But my disadvantage is that I'm handsome is not obvious.
19、要不是老师说不能乱扔垃圾，不然偶早把你扔出去。
If it weren't for the teacher said can't litter, otherwise I early throw you out.
20、理发师永远听不懂剪短一点点的概念。
The barber never couldn't understand the concept of cut short a little bit.
21、虽然我在认真的忽悠你，但是你要假装相信我。
Although I was in serious fool you, but you have to pretend to believe me.
22、别人一夸我，我就担心，担心别人夸得不够。
Others praised me, I worry, worry about other people kua enough.
23、这个世界本来就是痛苦的，没有例外的。
The world is painful, no exceptions.
24、都说姐漂亮，其实都是妆出来的。
All say sister beautiful, in fact is a makeup.
25、世界总是一样的，只是我们的心情和遭遇不一样而已。
The world is always the same, it is our mood and experience a different.
26、叹气是最浪费时间的事情，哭泣是最浪费力气的行径。
Sigh is one of the most waste of time things, crying is the most waste energy.
27、不是人人都能活的低调，可以低调的基础是随时都能高调。
Not everyone can live low-key, can at any time can be a low profile is the basis of high profile.
28、上流社会的人，总喜欢做点下流的事。
Upper-class people, always like to do something nasty.
29、别跟我谈感情，谈感情伤钱。
Don't talk to me about feelings, talk about feelings hurt money.
30、女人吻男人是一种幸福，男人吻女人是一种口福。
Is a kind of happiness women kiss men, men kiss women is a kind of luck to eat STH delicious.
31、别人装处，我只好装经验丰富。
Others place, I'll just experience.
32、我的眼里只有你，不过心里有别人！
I only have eyes for you, but in the mind have others!
33、睡着睡着，就睡出了理想和口水。
Sleep sleep and sleep out of the ideal and saliva.
34、男人的大脑喜欢女人的内心，但是眼睛喜欢女人的外表。
A man's brain like a woman's heart, but eyes like a woman's appearance.
35、爱情永远比婚姻圣洁，婚姻永远比爱情实惠。
Love always holier than marriage, marriage than love forever.
36、从天堂到地狱，哥只是路过人间。
From heaven to hell, elder brother just passing by.
37、在我生病发烧的时候，他来看过我，后来我们成为了发烧友。
When I was ill have a fever, he came to see me, then we became the enthusiasts.
38、挂个蚊帐在里面裸睡，挑逗蚊子，把它急死。
Hang a mosquito net in it naked sleep, tease mosquitoes, used in it.
39、要不是打不过你，早就跟你翻脸了。
If it weren't for dozen however you, told you turned against.
40、别人都在假装正经，我只好假装不正经。
Others were pretending to be serious, I had to pretend not serious.
41、大便的离去，是马桶的追求，还是**的不挽留。
The departure of the stool, it is the pursuit of the toilet, or butt does not retain.
42、每个成功的男人背后，都会有一个吃饱了没事做的女人。
Behind every successful man, there will be a full woman have no matter to do.
43、不求门当户对，只求感觉到位。
Not suitable, but feel in position.
44、绝口不提不是因为忘记，而是因为铭记。
About not forget because it is over, but because remembered.
45、我可以选择放弃，但不能放弃选择。
I can choose to give up, but I can't give up choice.
46、女人喜欢长得坏坏的男人，不是喜欢长坏了的男人。
Women like men who grow worse, not like the long bad man.
47、別人都以为在我低头沉思，其事我看着地上这一毛该不该捡。
Everyone thought I looked down on, the thing I look at this hair should pick up on the ground.
48、不要在你的智慧中夹杂着傲慢。不要使你的谦虚心缺乏智慧。
Don't in your wisdom with pride. Don't make your modesty of lack of wisdom.
49、这个世界就这么不完美，你想得到些什么，就不得不失去些什么。
The world is not so perfect, what you want, have to lose something.
50、作为失败的典型，你实在是太成功了。
As a typical form of failure, you are so successful.
51、路见不平一声吼，吼完继续往前走。
The road sees rough a roar, roar and walked on.
52、不宽恕众生，不原谅众生，是苦了你自己。
Do not forgive not forgive to be enlightened, is suffer yourself.
53、爷不是你的小浣熊，玩不出你的其乐无穷。
Ye are not your little raccoon, playing out of your fun.
54、有缘千里来相会，无缘牵女来相亲。
As if by predestination, no woman to date.
55、一棵树长到它想长的高度后，它才知道怎样的空气适合它。
A tree grows to think of it after long high, it know what air for it.
56、说出来的苦是软弱，埋藏在心里的苦叫坚强。
Speak of bitter is weak, buried in the heart of bitter is strong.
57、狂妄的人有救，自卑的人没有救。
Prideful people, not the self-contempt.
58、最好的，不一定是最合适的；最合适的，才是真正最好的。
The best, not necessarily the most appropriate; The most appropriate, is really the best.
59、如果梦想没但是，但是生活没如果。
If dream but not, but I don't have if life.
60、一个人，一条街，一个角落，一场无声的哭泣。
A person, a street, a corner, a silent cry.
61、其实我很宅，只是宅在谁家里的问题。
Actually I'm home, it's just a matter of who curtilage in the home.
62、那些你狠冒险的梦，我陪你去疯。
Those dreams you malicious adventure, I accompany you to mad.
63、听你讲的笑话，我一共哭了两次！
Listen to your jokes, I cried twice!
64、你把别人想得太复杂，是因为你也不简单。
You to think of others too complicated, because you will not be easy.
65、让未来到来，让过去过去。
Let the future arrival, let the past pass.
66、英雄难过美人关，我不是英雄，美人让我过了关。
Hero sad beauty pass, I am not a hero, a beauty let me close.
67、如果下雪不打伞，是不是我们就可以一路走到白头。
If it snows not dozen umbrella, whether we can go all the way to the hoary head.
68、人生有时就像电脑，说死机就死机，没得商量。
Sometimes life is like a computer, said crash will crash, not negotiable.
69、识就像内裤，看不见但很重要。
Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but very important.
70、知识就像内裤，看不见但很重要。
Knowledge is like underpants, see but very important.
71、你最快乐的时候，有人正受着病魔的折磨，和死亡搏斗，挣扎。
You the most happy time, someone is tortured by the illness, and death struggle, struggle.
72、不要说别人脑子有病，脑子有病的前提是必须有个脑子。
Don't say your mind, your mind is the premise of must have a brain.
73、告诉你们一个鬼故事，马上就要开学了，无奈痛苦的作业快涌过来了。
Tell you a ghost story, will soon be back in school and helpless painful job coming soon.
74、探索的旅程不在于发现新大陆，而在于培养新视角。
Exploration journey lies not in discovering the new continent, which is to cultivate new perspective.
75、人生是一顿饭，你只是一盘菜而已。
Life is a meal, you are just a dish.
76、勇于接受别人的批评，正好可以调整自己的缺点。
Have the courage to accept the criticism of others, just can adjust their own shortcomings.
77、还没来得及去沾花惹草，就被人拔光了。
Could go philandering, is being pulled out.
78、不能骂上帝，不让上帝会带你去见他。
Can't scold god, don't let god will take you to see him.
79、白天我生活在自己的梦里，晚上我在别人的梦里！
I live in my own dream during the day, night I am in the dream of someone else!
80、老板用你的时候你就是人才，不用你的时候就变成裁人！
The boss with you when you are the talent, don't you become firing people!
81、结婚就是给自由穿件棉衣，活动起来不方便，但会很温暖。
Marry is free to wear a cotton-padded jacket, activity up is not convenient, but it will be very warm.
82、随缘不是得过且过，因循苟且，而是尽人事听天命。
Fate is not muddle along, the same you, but to do what one can listen to destiny.
83、懒惰就像生锈一样，比操劳更消耗身体。
Sloth, like rust, consumes more than work.
84、遇见喜欢的，就得主动犯个贱。
Meet the love, have to take the initiative to make a base.
85、诚心做事容易办好事；成天想事，郁郁不得志。
Sincerely work easy to do good; Think about all day, and frustrated.
86、人家怕你，并不是一种福，人家欺你，并不是一种辱。
The somebody else be afraid of you, is not a blessing, the somebody else cheat you, is not an insult.
87、生活总要继续，睡觉也是！
Life is always continue, sleep too!